In his article “What is a Rule of Life and Why Do I Need It?” David Fry explains the value of establishing rules or guidelines for one’s Christian life. When developing your own rule of life, be as specific and concrete as possible, so that there is no doubt as to whether or not you have violated your rule. Below is a sample rule of life, adapted in part from the Bernard Breviary. Rules in italics are especially for ordained ministers.
Prayer and Time
To maintain intimacy with God and be watchful against sin:
- *I will have Morning Prayer before I open my laptop or begin my work.
- I will pause for Midday Prayer at least two or three times a week.
- I will have Evening Prayer and/or Compline.
- At least one of these prayer times I will have with my family.
- I will go to bed by midnight (12 PM) unless I am being productive with ministry work.
Fasting/Simplicity/Self-Denial
To subdue my flesh and remember Christ’s suffering:
- *I will not be on social media after 9 PM.
- Twitter (X.com) will remain blocked on all of my devices.
- I will not engage in a hobby or other entertainment until I have completed the Daily Office.
- I will fast from all food until 5 PM on all Fridays of the year, and from dawn to dusk on Good Friday. (If I am sick because of my medicine, I will eat only enough bland food to make it through the day.)
- I will not consume alcohol or tobacco.
- I will fast from all social media at least one week a year.
Feasting/Celebration
- I will feast on the Word of God by striving to spend at least one solid hour in meditation on Holy Scripture at least once a week.
- I commit to the life-long work of the Psalter, memorizing and internalizing the psalms through constant reading and singing.
- I will celebrate the baptism of every member of my family with a special meal.
- I will find meaningful ways to observe the major feasts of the Church Year with my family.
- I will read Scripture in light of the Church’s rich history of interpretation and submit to the Church’s consensus on difficult matters.
Examination/Accountability
- *Unless prevented by extraordinary circumstances, I will meet with my accountability partner every Monday (or Thursday) at 1 PM to review this rule of life and focus on personal holiness.
- *If I regularly fall into the same sin despite weekly accountability, I will meet with a pastor or higher ecclesial authority to confess that sin and seek spiritual direction.
- *I vigorously commit to sexual purity in thought, word, and deed. I will keep my marriage vows until death. I will not look at pornography or immodest women online or on social media. I will use accountability software on all my media. I will not download unmonitored apps or find other workarounds. I will not talk to a woman around my age without my wife’s knowledge. If I feel any attraction towards a woman that I may be in regular contact with, I will immediately tell my accountability partner. I will give my wife free access to all my devices.
- *I will not criticize, tease, or speak harshly to my wife. I will nurture her with tenderness and understanding, lest my prayers be hindered.
- I will go on an overnight spiritual retreat at least once a year.
- I will stay in contact with and pray for my pastor-brothers regularly.
Submission
- I will submit to my spiritual overseers/ecclesial superiors and not speak ill of them.
- I will not teach anything as necessary for salvation except that which may be concluded and proved from the Scriptures.
- I will not teach or do anything that violates the Three Creeds, the 39 Articles of Religion, or the classical ecumenical teaching of the Church.
- I will conform my church’s worship to historic norms as reflected in the Book of Common Prayer and other standard liturgies of the Church.
- I will confront sin when necessary, but strive to never speak with undue harshness to a Christian under my care, and always address serious matters in cooperation with the other Elders of the church.
