A Sample Rule of Life

Preface

The Christian Creeds are often called the rule of faith (regula fidei) in the sense that they provide a rule or measuring stick by which to evaluate one’s orthodoxy (right belief). They do not say everything that needs to be believed, but they provide a summary list of core Christian beliefs. A rule of faith is extremely valuable, but it’s not enough. Orthodoxy (right belief) must always result in orthopraxy (right practice). Doctrine must result in holiness. This is why Christians throughout the centuries have also developed a rule of life (regula vitae) evaluate their daily lives. A rule of life does not say everything that needs to be done, but it provides a list of “regular habits that are virtuous and foster holy, happy fellowship with God and others” (see David Fry’s article “What is a Rule of Life and Why Do I Need It?“).

Think of it like this: Scripture gives us many principles and commands us to do many things. A rule of life is a way of writing down the habits that will help us to actually put these things into practice when life gets busy and it’s easy to coast through the Christian life. A rule of life is not “check-list spirituality” or a set of legalistic rules that put a person in bondage. Quite the contrary. It is a summary of the holy life, which is the good life—the most joyful and liberating way to live. Keeping a rule of life is not what saves us, and if we fail to keep our rule, we should repent and keep pressing on in the pursuit of holiness. But having a rule provides structure and order that has helped many to make real progress in godliness.

I encourage every Christian to develop a rule of life, even if it just means writing down the habits that you are already committed to. For example, if you already (1) go to church every Sunday, (2) pray every day, and (3) read the Bible every day, write down those three commitments and you are already well on your way to developing a rule of life. Here are a few more tips:

1. Be as specific and concrete as possible, so that if you violate your rule, it is clear that you have done so. Don’t just say, “I’ll pray every day,” say, “I’ll spend at least 5 minutes in prayer before I start my work day.” This aids in accountability.
2. Make it comprehensive but not overwhelming, especially in the beginning. You can add to your rule of life as time goes on, but if it’s too long and complicated, it can lose its practical usefulness.
3. Be aspirational but realistic. A rule of life should be challenging and rigorous but also realistic and attainable.
4. Categorize the parts of your rule in a way that’s most practically useful to you. For example, some of my categories below include habits related to (1) The Local Church, (2) Prayer and Time, and (3) Marriage and Family.
5. Build into your rule of life that you will regularly review your rule (e.g., with an accountability partner).
6. Include Scripture references (e.g., to verses that have inspired you to adopt a particular practice or that reflect the principle you are trying to live out in your life).

Below is a sample rule of life, adapted in part from the Bernard Breviary. Rules in italics are especially for ordained ministers.

This Rule

God being my helper:

• I will make every effort to keep this rule of life.
• I will review this rule every week, examine my life by it, and continue to develop it as God guides me through Scripture and the Church’s teaching.

Local Church

Unless prevented by extraordinary circumstances, and even on vacation:

• I will go to Sunday School, humble and ready to learn, every Sunday.
• I will go to church, “prayed up” and ready to worship, every Sunday.
• I will go to midweek Bible study, prepared and ready to participate, every week.
• I will never allow sports, work, or other activities to take priority over God’s holy Church or my sacred duties to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Prayer, Scripture, & Time

To maintain intimacy with God and be watchful against sin:

• I will pray three times a day, as did Jesus and the apostles (Acts 2:15; 10:9; 3:1; cf. Dan. 6:10), using the Daily Office or the Liturgy of the Hours (adapted):
• Morning Prayer (15–20 minutes) before I open my laptop or begin my work.
• Midday Prayer (5–10 minutes).
• Evening Prayer (15–20 minutes) and/or Compline (5–10 minutes).
• I will not engage in a hobby or other entertainment until I have prayed.
• I will go to bed by midnight (12 PM) unless I am being productive with ministry work.
• I will fast from all food until 5 PM on all Fridays (or Wednesdays) of the year, and from dawn to dusk on Good Friday, and spend my extra time in prayer or Scripture reading. (If I am sick because of medicine, I will eat only enough bland food to make it through the day. If I cannot fast for health reasons, I will temporarily abstain from something else such as social media or a hobby.)

Purity & Personal Holiness

To remain chaste and pure in thought, word, and deed (Mt. 6:28; Job 31:1; Eph. 5:3), and to guard against sin:

• I will not talk to a woman around my age without my wife’s knowledge. If I feel any attraction towards a woman that I may be in regular contact with, I will immediately tell my accountability partner.
• I will give my wife free access to all my electronic devices.
• I will use accountability software such as Accountable2You or Covenant Eyes on all my media. I will not download unmonitored apps or find other workarounds.
• I will block any website that I discover permits nudity (e.g., Twitter), using tools such as the Block Site browser extension.
• I will not consume alcohol or tobacco.
• I will take a break from all social media at least one week a year (e.g., the week that I go spiritual retreat).

Marriage & Family

To keep my family first (after God), and to develop my home as a “little church”:

• I will keep my marriage vows until death.
• I will plan meaningful time alone with my wife at least once a week (1 Cor. 7:5; Eph. 5:29).
• I will not criticize, tease, or speak harshly to my wife. I will nurture her with tenderness and understanding, lest my prayers be hindered (1 Pet. 3:7).
• I will have at least one of my three prayer times with my family.
• I will cultivate an orderly, peaceful, loving, joyful, and spiritual atmosphere in my home, so that it is a place where my children feel safe, want to be, and learn to know God.
• I will have “family time” (e.g., over a board game) every Sunday afternoon or evening, prioritizing activities that cultivate meaningful interactions.
• I will plan meaningful time with each of my children at least once a month (e.g., “Daddy and __________ time”).
• I will catechize my children every day (Deut. 6:7), so that when they leave the home they will have memorized a concise explanation of all major Christian teaching, be familiar with all the major Bible stories, and have heard meaningful answers to all of their own personal questions.
• I will not yell (Mt. 5:22). If I am overstimulated and begin to lose my temper when parenting, I will “tag in” my wife or tell my children that I need a minute and walk away to pray. I will monitor my emotions throughout the day.
• I will celebrate the baptism of every member of my family by looking at any pictures that we have, reading what Scripture says about baptism, and sharing a special meal and treat of their choice (Rom. 6:3).
• I will find meaningful ways to observe the major feasts and saint days of the Church Year with my family (Psalm 77:11–12; 145:4; Heb. 12:1), so that by the time my children leave the home they will have a deep knowledge of all God’s wonderful works in the gospel and of all the inspiring lives of the saints.

Giving, Serving, & Evangelism

• I will give generously (at least 10% of my income) to ministry work.
• I will be quick to help others in need, even if it is inconvenient or costly. If I see someone begging by the side of the road and it is possible for me to do so, I will at least bring them groceries and share my contact info with them.
• I will make an ongoing effort to be more bold in sharing my faith and make it a priority to reach those who are lost.

Accountability & Submission

• Unless prevented by extraordinary circumstances, I will meet with my accountability partner every Monday (or Thursday) at 1 PM to review this rule of life and focus on personal holiness.
• If I regularly fall into the same sin despite weekly accountability, I will meet with a pastor or higher ecclesial authority to confess that sin and seek spiritual direction (James 5:6).
• I will go on an overnight spiritual retreat at least once a year (Mk. 6:31).
• I will submit to my spiritual overseers/ecclesial superiors and not speak ill of them (Heb. 13:17), unless I believe that they have sinned and I need to address it in a way that is biblically appropriate to the situation.
• I will read Scripture in light of the Church’s rich history of interpretation and submit to the Church’s consensus on difficult matters (1 Tim. 3:15; Jn. 16:13).

Physical Health

To glorify God with my body and to have strength to serve my family and the Church for as long as God gives me in this life:

• I will get an annual physical and follow sound medical advice.
• I will drink at least one bottle of water every day.
• I will take daily vitamins.
• I will go on short walks a few times a week and try to find someone to regularly exercise with (e.g., tennis, pickleball, or racquetball).

Pastoral Commitments

Note: These are specific to pastors.

• I will stay in contact with and pray for my pastor-brothers regularly.
• I will not teach anything as necessary for salvation except that which may be concluded and proved from the Scriptures (2 Tim. 3:15).
• I will not teach or do anything that violates the Three Creeds, the 39 Articles of Religion, or the classical ecumenical teaching of the Church, and I will conform my church’s worship to historic norms as reflected in the Book of Common Prayer and other standard liturgies of the Church (1 Tim. 3:15; Jn. 16:13).
• I will faithfully confront sin in the church, but strive to never speak with undue harshness to a Christian under my care, and always address serious matters in cooperation with the other Elders of the church (2 Tim. 4:2; 1 Pet. 5:2).